Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My Spiritual Journey

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
Psalm 32:1-2

This is the verse I am meditating on this week. I am blessed because I am completely forgiven and loved by God.

Why?
Often times I am overwhelmed by what I don't accomplish that I feel like I should be accomplishing. I don't spend enough one on one time with each girl. I don't keep the house cleaned like I should. I don't invest in my friends as much as I should. I don't keep up with my friends and family who live far away like I should. I don't, I don't, I don't....the list could go on and on.

I wasn't even aware of this self condemnation until this past week as I was reading the Word. The Lord completely opened my eyes to the guilt I was experiencing simply because I couldn't be everything to everyone and do it all perfectly. He began to make Romans 8:1 real to me in a different way. I've known the verse forever, but suddenly the words, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..." began to take on a whole new meaning to me. There is no condemnation for me because I am in Christ even though I DON"T do everything I feel like I should.

Which is where Psalm 32 comes in. I am BLESSED not CONDEMNED. Seems simple right? But a lesson the Lord needed to make real to me again so I can live in HIS presence instead of the presence of guilt of not accomplishing everything I think a perfect life should accomplish. I can live the blessed life instead of cheapening it with my own ideas of what life should look like.

So Where Does This Take Me?

Back to prayer. A good friend and mentor of mine reminded me of all the time I have to focus on prayer. One of my goals this year has been to increase my prayer life and I have completely overlooked all the time I have to pray now. Instead of flipping on the TV when I'm nursing or walking the floor trying to get Justus to sleep, I have been praying. Instead of aimlessly doing housework in the few spare minutes I have a day, I have been purposefully praying as I accomplish small tasks. I am blessed with an abundant amount of time in the house where I can work on my prayer life. Its good we have a Father who loves to communicate with us!

Goals:
  • The whole waking up early thing isn't working out that great. Justus decided he also wants to wake up early with me =)
  • After I've put him down for his morning nap, I set the timer and tell the girls they can't talk to me until the timer goes off and I read my Bible then. So far its been working!
  • Continue to take every opportunity to pray and listen to God.
  • Live as though I am blessed and focus on that instead of all the responsibilities that life throws at me.

2 comments:

Amy said...

I swear sometimes we share a brain girl...I think I remember writing something very similar in my journal a few years ago. Isn't God good to use our "circumstances" to teach us more about Him and who we are in Him? Thanks for your honesty and for allowing what He is doing in your life to teach and challenge all of us.

Dustin Jones said...

You are doing great!! Praying for you. Not that you are complaining, but no matter the circumstance it becomes more and more difficult to do the many things of life.