This morning as I was reading the Psalm, these verses stuck out to me, convicted me, and made me start to think.
Why: This summer has been extremely busy. It seems like there has been something almost every night and every weekend since the summer started. Being busy isn't a sin, but yet I just haven't been able to have this flourishing relationship with the Lord this summer. I've been learning things and applying, but just not flourishing.
What does this mean: This morning, the Lord began speaking to my heart about the busyness in my life. When I'm busy, I still definitely "remember" God. I know and recognize He is my "redeemer", and I thank Him for that. However, there is no way for my heart to be loyal to Him continually because I'm too busy jumping from one thing to the next. My heart and mind can't stay fixed on the things of Him because I'm more worried about schedules and deadlines and activities and traveling and all the other things that cause a busy schedule. It is in the simplicity of life where I find I can walk WITH God moment by moment. Busyness is what causes spiritual defeat for me.
Its funny. Just as I was about to turn to Brent and tell him what I was talking to God about, he walked up to me and handed me the book "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg and said, "read this chapter." The chapter was entitled, An Unhurried Life. Brent then started to talk about what God had been telling him that morning. Its crazy how God choose to speak to both of us at the same time about our schedules. One of my favorite quotes from this chapter was, "You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life." It then goes on to say, "The great danger is not that we will renounce our faith, but settle for a mediocre version of it." A mediocre relationship with Christ is not what I desire. Needless to say, this chapter further convicted me about our schedule these past few months.
What Am I Going to Do: I am slowing down. I know some people think that because I stay home, I probably already live a pretty slowed down life. I'm hoping that stereotype will be true in the coming months. I desire to live in obedience to the Lord. What that obedience looks like, I'm not quite sure at this point. But I do know that I will be spending this week seeking the Lord's guidance on how to slow down but yet still do everything we've been called to do. I desire to be productive, but I don't desire to be busy. There's a fine line, and I pray the Lord will show me how to balance that in the coming weeks.
- I guess this means I'm going to start practicing the spiritual discipline of simplicity. This week is week 1 of practice time. I'll let you know how it goes =)