Sometimes I tend to give in to my fleshly side and start to feel tired. This happened again about 3 weeks ago. I walked into a babyshower at a perfectly decorated home with plenty of bedrooms for all children and an additional playroom for all their toys. I listened to women talk about meeting at the gym, buying new clothes, and going out for lunch, and that fleshly side of me started to feel sorry for myself. I started to whine about having to work 2 jobs. I started to whine about not having enough space for anything in our house. I started to whine about cutting coupons and shopping sales. I started to feel sorry for myself, if just for a brief moment. I came home from the shower, fell on our bed, and turned to Brent and said, "I'm really struggling with envy. You're going to have to snap me out of this." It may sound stupid and petty, and it is, but it was a real struggle, almost a bitterness as my eyes could only see what I did not have and would not focus on all that we did have. Its funny how God doesn't allow you to stay in those moments for long though because at church that Sunday, Brent seemed to have picked every song to sing that convicted me of my selfishness and then Bob did an impromptu call to the alter to lay down everything we were not giving to God. We'll just say my eyes were definitely not dry, but I stood up completely free of the stronghold that had attempted to steal my joy from me. I left church that Sunday with different eyes. Which brings us to today. Today was parent orientation at school.
As I got ready and realized that in 3 weeks, I'll only have Tuesdays with just me and the girls, I'll admit I was a little sad. But at the same time, very thankful. I went to school today with a different attitude. This was a job that God placed in my lap so that I could earn money, do something with my brain, and still only be out of the house 1 day a week. Plus, I love the kids, I love the environment, and I love the people I work with. God has a funny way of bringing you through something tough in order to open your eyes to the blessings of life. And I am very blessed.